Thursday, January 13, 2011

Yeah, Buddy, I'm Talking to YOU!

My New Computer or Why I Should Throw Laptops Not Dishes

 I got a new computer a few days ago and decided to write a blog about a very amusing adventure concerning what happened after I brought it home. Then I was going to add a little anecdote about what I thought about mascara commercials.
Not only could I not remember my password, but I couldn't remember the email address I had created for this blog. I have a variety of emails I have made up to register on websites so that I can enter them and not have my main email address clogged up with junk. And I have had a couple of blogs in the past so I created email addresses for them.
It’s hard to remember if went with this blog or or maybe and even if I did remember, is the password the one I use for my bank account GiMmeMorEMoNey1966, or the one I use on 666burnbooks or the one for Think Geek Smartygeekygirl03241975 or the one for Facebook that I changed when someone hacked into my account, freetheturtles000 and I vowed I would change all of my accounts to new individual passwords?
No wonder I couldn't find the "on" button on my new laptop.
Technology, I am putting you on notice. Either stop screwing with my life or I will come for you. Yeah. You heard me. I am packing heat, baby. I will take you down. Okay. Big dish. Truly broken. Whew.
Now, about the mascara commercials . . . do they really think I am this dumb? That I believe the mascara used on these models’ eyelashes actually give them three inch long lashes? That it never enters my mind they are wearing false eyelashes?
I pick up the dish, it’s a long shot ,but it flies high and wide like a freaking heat-seeking Frisbee until it crashes into the office of L’Oreal, Maybelline and Cover Girl.
Now, about those lipstick ads . . . 

P.S. None of those email addresses and passwords are real. It's a joke. I kid you not. Or is it a joke? Is this just a ploy to make sure you don't try and open up my email without my knowledge? Hmmm, perhaps you'll never know. Well, until you try to open it. But don't try. I'm not kidding. I mean I am, but, well, you know what I mean. You don't wanna make me mad, do you? I got lots of dishes. Lots.